Westland Rovers Football Club

As one of the original Billy's babes Gav was a determined little winger. Shame about his finishing - the only thing he got to finish was his pints at the bar!

The highlight of his illustrious career was winning a fancy dress contest dressed as the Crow and actually duct taped himself into the costume for the night, and ended up in hospital but not from the duct tape.

But that's a whole different story!

After questionable forays into the world of both management and refereeing Kieran came out of retirement in time for the 2022 Millen adventure.

Currently a Kildare native, former Dub Kieran is a fullback who has always relied on skill rather than speed and in the past his unique way with words have led to some disciplinary misunderstandings with the match officials.

Here’s hoping that the old saying “with age comes wisdom” rings true and this Arsenal fan can resist asking questions. of our referees

A left wing back who moulds himself after the legendary Ali Dai.Aidan can list Gingerman FC, Bulfin Utd and Synge Street as former clubs.

Provides back-up kit for his body double Mick Wilders.

He once had a job as the voice behind the magic mirror at Christmas time in a Dublin city Shopping Centre!

A mainstay at centre-half for although occasionally employed as a Dion Dublin-esque big man up front.

The management have even played him in midfield, simultaneously demonstrating their optimism and tactical cluelessness.

Looney has scored three goals for Westland; a free kick hit as a cross, a shot which was going wide until it was deflected, and a goal off his heel he knew nothing about.

He hopes to bring that jammyness with him to Millen.

Peter D'Arcy. An experienced, humble and team focused professional, with a lethal finish.

In his head anyway!

One of Westland Rovers longer serving stalwarts, D'Arcy is a centre back at heart and a striker in his head.

We're hoping the big man finds where he's staying on this trip as he had little success in Maastricht on his first visit.

Great karaoke singer.

Stoney is a wrecking ball of a defender that’s only too keen to put his body on the line.

Modelled his game on Tony Adams, but missed the crucial ingredient of alcohol.

Stoney is stone cold sober and plays more like Steve Austin the wrestler than one of the Arsenal legends.

The Westland Rovers captain is likely to take man, ball and himself out of the game.

Having played for more clubs than Robbie Keane, but with none of the signing on fees, Darragh is quite the versatile player.

Learning his trade at Bulfin Utd as a left back his attacking qualities saw him move to outside left (pre-decimal formations).

Two-footed (like most of his tackles) and quick-thinking, he enjoyed many happy years on the wing. Career unfortunately cut short due to alcohol, women and alcohlic women!

Deco played as a striker when he started out with Westland Rovers and won Top Scorer and Player of the Year in 97/98 receiving both trophies from Billy.

Earned his “Oscar” nickname in Glasgow and is a legendary Haggis Hunter!

While on our first tour in Belgium Oscar developed an unusual taste for Hair Gel and M&Ms.

Mark (the Doctor) O'Brien, an electrifying winger with a penchant for paint and some of Amsterdam's finest delicacies.

Such is his generous nature that he has been known to administer special supplements to players before games on tour.

When not found with chalk on his boots from hugging the touchline, he can normally be found with a paintbrush in his hand.

Without question the club's oldest player - there should be a time period named after him!

A central midfielder - his former clubs include Usher Celtic, Lourdes Celtic, Mourne Celtic, OLV and John Hayes.
Could have played for Celtic but they never asked him.

Once called "a lovely baby" by Sean Connery in Elder Park, Govan!

Another one of Billy O’Rourkes recruits from 20+ years ago.Budgie smuggles goals from either a central striking position or out on the flanks.

Westland Rovers record European marksman.

Big Dublin GAA fan but unfortunately also follows a horrible shower called Shamrock Rovers…

Originally recruited by Billy O'Rourke as a goalkeeper in 1997 Paul has played in pretty much every position for Westland Rovers including a couple of seasons as top scorer with an incredible 5 goals!!

Formed a youthful defensive midfield partnership with Joe O'Rourke for a couple of seasons and still chips in with the odd goal.

Probably stayed with Westland Rovers so long because of the train on the crest!

“Marko” is one of the newest recruits to the Westland cause and has the considerable advantage of being one of the youngest members of the squad.

Mark will probably be given the task of doing the running in the centre of midfield.

Mark travels far and wide to support the Irish football team so hopefully will be well able to survive the challenges of five days in Millen.

One of only three ever presents on the trips to Millen, Mark usually lines up as full back and shows a level of consistency only matched by his performances at pub quizzes or on Countdown while flirting with Rachel Riley.

After recently disposing of his trademark ponytail we’ll be hoping that there’s no Samson like dwindling of his powers.

This year the manager will have to be on his toes as Mark has developed a habit of sneaking off to the pub at half time and not coming back.

Another Countdown connoisseur, an Octochamp no less!

Gerry is a striker who specialises in delicate finishes with a particular / peculiar talent for back heel finishes - probably because he can’t turn around!!

Also runs walks marathons…

With his super Agent contacts during his playing days the only surprise is that he wasn't shipped off to the Chinese Superleague, especially with their dire need for waterboys.

Able to miskick equally well with both left and right foot, and a lack of pace that would embarrass a sloth, he was always a welcome addition for any visiting team.

Mick is now donning the sheepskin jacket on this trip as he dips his toes into the managerial merry go round!

Mick, the ever dependable hard tackling midfielder, is here for another streak at Millen and will continue to be one of the teams most consistent performers.

Will the dino-suit make an appearance in the Benelux this year?

Look out for slow pentrating bare naked runs when the beer flows!

Headband-wearing Striker who knows how to cause problems for any defence and keeper.

Nicknamed The "Hare" Dempsey in school, a double-sided play on words for having speed and good hair (both of which are still present) thankfully.

Bren plans to bring these attributes to Millen and hopefully not get too many dodgy looks from the Ref, the opposition or even his teammates in the process!

Dave, the former Dublin Hurler who made his dream move to Westland Rovers to play with the likes of Joe O'Rourke and Peter Darcy.

His love for trains and Tomas the Tank engine inspired him to join the great Westland Team.

Dave is the Rolls Royce of engines when it comes to playing, the midfield maestro is known for his running that would make Mo Farah look like an obese kid eating a burger.

The Portmarnock Native has taken Westland to his heart and now happily lives on the means streets of Mourne Road, Drimnagh.

Versatile defender and 5th choice goalkeeper behind Gavin, Siamese twins and the Wheelie Bin.

A fan of the written word especially when submitted before publishing deadlines.

Oversees St Pats match day magazine.

Has been known to assist tired rockstars by clearing their vomit from hotel bedrooms.

Leans to the left, not politically - actually leans to the left!

Marauding wing back, who likes nothing more than taking on his opponent, sometimes more than once.

Has a fascination for overhead kicks and blind alleys.

Has a style that went out with the dinosaur and loves a bit of T-Rex.

They seek him here, they seek him there, where is the badger with the Ravanelli hair?

Utilising his suave charm, Agent P will be looking to infiltrate many backlines, and make his mark in Millen.

Sometimes shaken, but never stirred, he brings much needed balance to the team, as he can play in Goal, Defence and Midfield as well.

From Mayo with love, and with a licence to thrill, watch out for the man with the golden beer at the after-party!

Ronan O'Flaherty, executive director of supplementary operations at Westland Rovers.

Ronan has seldom, if ever, donned the famous Westland Rovers colours on the pitch but remains the curator of the teams curious esprit de corps.

A man never seen without a visor and a curious expression, he is also founder of the Angela Lansbury appreciation society.

This Liberties born lad has spent a lifetime keeping away from football but it has finally caught up with him as he embarks on his maiden voyage with the Mighty Westland Rovers.

The Crumlin native may struggle to adapt to drinking culture in Maastricht and Millen where he’ll try search out a Lucozade alternative as a kick start to his drinking sessions!

As Club Mascot Pat will bring a cuddliness unseen on previous trips.

This former Inchicore native, known as Windows, travels from one part of Europe to another to join up with Westland Rovers on what will be his first European adventure with this great bunch of lads!

However this current Denmark dweller is no stranger to Westland Rovers having appeared in goal for us on one occasion despite his legendary bad eyesight.

Once had a shit on a crime scene cordoned off with NYPD tape in a Manhattan boozer!